Message from my past to my future

Hey you! The past year has been great! Greater than what we have expected.

Through mostly thick and sometimes thin, we have gone through what life threw at us.

God never swayed. We almost always swayed, yet we stood strong.



At the sermon at mass that I attended with the family before New Year's eve, the priest gave me some words and wisdom that made me able to put something that has sense in this year-end entry.

And I quote, "Many of you are wearing new clothes for this mass. Many have already bathe to welcome the new year....".

Of all the presumptions that he said, nothing was 'aimed' at me, for a lack of a better word. So that made me think. I did not wear anything new that mass. I did not bathe for that mass. :D

So what was the point?

I just thought that 2009 was a really great year. I could not count the immense number of blessings I received from the Almighty. I really think that I am making good progress in my journey in being what God and I want myself to be.

This is why the statement 'change' is not really the best word to describe what I want myself to experience this new year. Again, it is a process and I am still in this process. So, I choose 'continue the change'.

I will still keep the many many many things I have learned and experienced in 2009. It is a milestone in our challenging, peculiar, mind-numbing journey called life. But, there will always be room for improvement! For the bigger things, For the better things, For the most important thing. Love.

This moment, I would honestly say, is the real start of the start of our journey that is LEGEN... wait for it!...


DARY!

keeping the future fresh,
airon

I found.

I found music..

.. I found rhythm

I found peace..

.. I found meaning

Beneath the melody..

Life is a beautiful symphony..

A story as old as time it self..

Focusing on the music,
airon

The rays will guide you home

He said..

"I will be your light"

And I believe Him..

Even in the darkest of places, you can still see the faintest light.. the smallest spark..

walking in the light,
airon

I've got my feet wet

A very unexpected trip. Full of surprises, sense and, of course, non-sense.

I've got my feet and enjoyed every moment that God gave me.

It started with a trip to the mountain to clean up other peoples messes. I should have taken pictures of the huge amounts of trash that tourists leave at the great mountain of Banahaw.

The call to be earth's guardian became more clear to me. The call to be someone with purpose.

It was a good to mark the start of the end of the semester with something that has meaning. Well, for me anyways. Some were uneasy. Feeling the vivid differences of the reality from the expected. I couldn't blame them. Most of the time, we only hear the things that we wanted to hear.

Like for example.

When she said: First we will go to the mountain to participate in a clean-up, and then we will go to the beach and to a very beautiful resort.

He'll only here: Beach, Resort.

One of the many complexities of human nature.

When she said: I don't want anything serious right now.

She really meant: I just haven't found the person that I want to be serious with.

When I said: I am OK. I don't need her.

What I really meant is:

But the trip eventually came to the real fun part. The part full of nonsense with a little bit of sense. The orange bands represent freedom. Freedom to not care about the real world for a while. Freedom to dream, even if just for a little while.

ORANGE BANDS OF FREEDOM!

Beer became the main social lubricant. A lot of good stories and points-of-views were shared. Some forcefully.

The point was not to get wasted. It was never the point. And, never will be the point. The skillful exchange of words is enough. The enjoyment of one's company is enough. Enjoying the life's moments was enough.

These are the VACATIONEERS (without me)

The plan was simple.

Enjoy what is given to you.

This is what our lives should be.

Enjoy what is given to you by life.

This is what our lives should portray.

Enjoy what is given to you by God.

Me: Enjoying life's miracles.



Our life is a gift. It is a privilege. It is limited.

Use yours wisely.

savoring every little bit,
airon

when was the last time you had...

..a real conversation with your God?

There are inevitable technicalities that many seem to focus
on..

Technicalities that separate faiths..
Technicalities that forbade..
Technicalities that are always there..
Technicalities, technicalities.. well I don't really care..

But they are there..

I am sorry.

I just want to get that off my mind and heart. I have been in a stream of busy weeks and several requirements. Still my God stayed true to his word. It is always me forgetting to do my end.

It is funny. When we are doing good. Meaning, we are happy with are lives and everything is a-OK. Because that is what He promised for us. We tend to neglect him. Or maybe it is just me.

It is like when he is doing his job is when we don't do ours.


Well. The semester is almost up. I want it to be over. It will be over tomorrow.

After a semester of academic stress. I hope to again get real close to Him soon.


Just a quick thought before I go back to studying.

"The bottom line of faith is Love.
You can never go wrong with Love."


fishing for knowledge and loving every moment,
airon

the journey continues..

This is not a typical OJ day.. But still I am drinking orange juice and eating a piece of bread for breakfast as the morning started with hard pouring rain..

Haha! i now have time to write! :D

Ow my Lord. Its has been so long since i wrote about anything. Or finish writing something for that matter. I have been able to write verses for songs but time is tricky. Time is a tricky thing. I have been trying to organize my time to the fullest. Sometimes i succeed and sometimes i barely make it. I am so thankful to God for helping me through out everything.

I went to a meeting last night that ultimately set the goals and all that we, my partner Karla and I, would have to do with our beloved cluster. I was scared but mostly excited. There are so many responsibilities that are entrusted upon us. Akala namin ok na ung mga pinaggagawa namin. Hindi pa pala. Kulang pa.

Don't get me wrong. I am proud to be the cluster head of YFC WC Cluster 3. We had made so many changes for the better. But now i know that we still have room for improvement. We can still be the best. For our God.

I promised myself that before my time is over, I will leave my cluster knowing that i did what i could to make all of them be the best that they could be.

That's a lot of "be".

I know that "that time" would come. as one man said.

Going to the top of the mountain is optional, but going down is mandatory.

All we could do with the power and responsibilities entrusted upon us is make the best out of it become better or even the best we could be.

As my quest to be superhuman continues. I only thank God for giving me what i need and for being with me through out this wonderful journey called life.

grateful,

airon

Feelin' Supa Great!

As the month of August closes with a big sigh and a big heart, I realized (this blog is full of these things called "realizations") that It has been a pretty pretty busy month.

> I am now a fully functioning cluster head of the very wonderful YFC WC3

> My playlist is about to reach 40 gigs (hooray! hope I could listen to them all in one sitting).

> I am still in this thing called "progress".

> I am doing my environmentalistic duties (with my school org of course..).

> I exercising almost everyday! (a healthy body and mind is important!)

> I passed 3 long exams already! (ULTRA Hooray!)

> I already watched.. The Pianist (5/5), Nuovo Cinema Paradiso (Italian 4/5), I Love You Man (3.5/5), Pineapple Express (^6^/5 for its ???? factor), Earth 2100 (5/5)

> I am very happy.

> I am contented.

> I am a hitchhiker.

Just a happiness update. At times when you think that your situation can't get any better, think again. Things always work out. Don't ask me how. They just do. Just ask God. :)

still going.. and going.. and going...

-airon

tired but not defeated..

I'm beginning to feel the weight of everything as my eyes lids close slowly. This is the part when doubts flourish and the very fabric of mind's structure is put to the test. I know it is inevitable but I was assuming that I could pretend that I will not give in. Don't get me wrong. I haven't, but there are times i wanted to. It seems easier to be the easy way out.

But.

No. No. No.

This is not me talking. Again, a tired mind is easy to break. A breathe is all that I need.

I ask for this. He gave it to me. My cup now overflows.

No. No. No.

Never give up!!! Never surrender!!!

I know with God I am more than what I am. I am now superhuman.

flying in the skies,

airon

Answer the phone.. I know that your home..

whew.. its been along time since I wrote. It's been hell. or heaven. So many things are happening and now my head is spinning altering my reality making me feel troubled in paradise.

It had been a wonderful ride. There are so many things I have learned. So many things I thank God for. But there were just too much. This will be the first part of my entry.

The weather is confusing bipolar man filled with emotion wanting a world were emotion is a symptom of weakness. Amidst the confusion, being filled with his own personalities and weakness, he chose neither. In this moment of weakness, he became consumed with thoughts he doesn't know that he would come to think again. His world of compromise was then again revealed to him. He is now here and now he is going to do was is ask of him by fate and his God. May it offend the very personalities he came to please? It might. But then again. A call of greatness is not confined to just one. He kept on telling himself that. Only hoping that he doesn't forget what he told himself that day.

Now He is still praying to God that he chose what is the better choice. Praying to him that they may forgive him for his blind choices and uncanny ability to please.

I am the weather. Ecstatic. Bipolar. and still very peculiar.

It has been defined that a call to "greatness" is both a privilege and a curse.

Nevertheless, I will answer the call for it is in my blood which courses through my heart.

There are still so many things to do. This is how many cups of coffee I need to drink to finish them all. :|

answering the phone,

airon

venti.. 20 ounces of goodness..

venti..

I am now at peace at twenty..

I am now contented at twenty..

I have been here in this wonderful rock called earth for twenty years. I have experienced so many things. Loved many people. Learned wonderful lessons. And still is not enough.

I know that this is just the beginning (again). A new decade is before me. I can write a million more. I can love a lot more.

I am leaving that child who is afraid his destiny to be great. I know that I am not ready. But I am called to the stand. With the Friday night lights blinding my sight, I am ready to win. To win against myself, my greatest enemy.


We can be forever afriad of so many things. But remember that your fear is only made by you. It is your mind and sometimes strikes your heart.

It is funny to think that in the end, or worst enemies are ourselves.

still fighting,
airon

a different kind of day

I spent the first hours of my birthday with my friend Kai, who had just been to South Korea for 9 months for an exchange program, in a bar and resto in SM North mall. We first watch Harry Potter 6 in an IMAX theater at 8:30 pm July 17. So after that we had a few drinks to talk about her experiences there and mine here.
I never thought that i would be spending the first few hours of my birthday with her. She is one of my close friends but not one of the closest. I'm sorry for the confusing notion. I have a lot of friends. But only I have one best friend. It really doesn't make sense if you have more than one. That's why they call it the "best" friend. And I have a few close friends.

There is always the thought of spending important days of your life, lets say your birhtday, with the people who matter to you the most. But this time it was different.
It was kind of refreshing. I told myself to not make my birthday a big deal. So I planned not to plan. Just a simple birthday meal with family is ok.

And so, that was what happened. I went home after our drink and I got home at around 3 am. Went to sleep for a few hours then I was woke up at 7 am to participate in a some what religious ritual. My family is Catholic. They are real devotes to the faith. But I am a Christian. So these king of rituals and traditions are really not that interesting for me. I was a bit irritated because I was forced to participate. But it was all good. It was my day. I thought.
My mom prepared dinner for all the family. I bought my own cake. I bought it at a bakeshop that I loved. It was good. The food. The people. Everything. It was simple and nice.

After that I was immediately transformed into a chauffeur. My younger sister had to go at a party and so I drove her and her friends to the venue. Ian and two of my cousins went along to keep me company. After dropping them off we went to a Krispy Kreme. It was fun. It was time spent well. I bonded with them over doughnuts and coffee. It was another ccc. It felt good.
It was a different kind of day. It was special.

celebrating life,
airon

CCC's

It has been along time since I had a cup of coffee with a friend. A beer would just easily replace the word coffee in the previous statement. But, I missed coffee. Not just the coffee, the conversations aswell. Beer or alcohol doesn't actually cause you to engage in intelligent conversations. It would lead to stupid shallow but somewhat profound type conversations which would rarely lead to and an actual deep conversation.

I missed (what i call) coffee cup conversations (or ccc's).

And so yesterday I met with my friend Ian. She is a she. I'm clearing it now because people tend to think that she a guy because of her name. It's actually Mary Elaine. Ian for short. Weird. Hahaha! (peace Ian!) (I am now starting to type side comments and disclaimers in these parenthesis. Weird.) We had a beer in our usual hangout place but the rainy weather made us feel that coffee would be better. So, after a bottle we moved to the resto and coffee place just next to the usual place. It was called LikhaDiwa. It is a vegetarian/ecofriendly(organic)/nationalistic resto/cafe. It served local brews and vegetarian food. I ate there before just the day before this day happenned. She liked that place. Me too. And now, It will be our usual place also. The coffee was cheap, good and cheap! There were artworks everywhere and there is a place were the tables are low and you sit at the ground. It was a nice "tambayan".

After a cup and exchanges of current news we ended up talking about the deeper stuff. The stuff that really matters. The stuff that I have been so effortly writing in this blog. I know it helped her a lot. There are also many things that she wanted to do but hasn't been able to. Many of us do. Remember, we only have a lifetime to do all of the things we love to do.

Hopefully this ccc helped her to do those things.

and so, i sign this entry.

Doing what I love to do,

airon

P.S. My b-day's coming up and hopefully it will pass without all of my money going down the drain. I'm not going to celebrate this year. To many things to do. And. No wishlist for me. I copied J.Mraz's bday thing so I asked the people that are planning to give me material gifts to just do something that they wanted to do and have been putting off for forever. I will write about that soon. Peace out!

How to be naive and wise at the same time..

I have done a lot of wrong things to many people.

Many times, may it be big or be it little.

I was always sorry and sincere to highest degree.

Never sure of the forgiveness I hope to receive.

And many people also did me wrong.

Many people test my tipping point.

But I already forgave them the next morn.

I only hope that they'll never test me again, I hope they don't.

Am I too naive or too wise. Sometimes I can't tell the difference.

3 words.

God help me..

-airon (is frustrated?) *deep breathe*

a million things to do.. a life-time to do it..

I have been putting off a lot of things lately. Procrastinating is so easy now-a-days. There are a lot of distractions (e.g. FaceBook, TV... you know what I mean..) that consumes most of our time and only little is left for us to spend on living.

I thank Miguel, my Columbian missionary friend, for pushing me to do all that I wanted to do. It was so thoughtful of him to give me a book on Advanced Italian Learning. It is one of the things that I want to accomplish. To be fluent in Italian. And so, after putting it off for a while, I finally started reading the book and refreshing myself with all I know about the Italian language.

As the sunsets closes the day of written memories,

I humbly await for its twin for another chance to write wonderful songs of happiness and misery..

Life is too damn short.

It is a fact.

We can waste all our of time with all of the nonsensical bullshit that the people concieve as worth while. Or. We can spend it on learning, living life.

In short. Dream. Dream big. It is a fact that the mind is very powerful. If we really want something, you can have it/ achieve it.

All it takes is a strong mind. And a strong heart.

Letting go of these big and profound words is easy. But I for one hate hypocrites. I have always (planned to) live my life to the fullest. And now, I'm going on overdrive!

Carpe Diem!

Sieve the Day!

This is just the start. Hopefully (if anyone is reading) you will too become a hallucinatory. Just like me and signor Jason Mraz. Hallucinate. Dream. Believe.

as an old Filipino quote said,

"Kung gusto maraming paraan, Kung ayaw maraming dahilan."

"If you want it there are many ways, If you don't there are many excuses."

-ron (another leaf has turned..)

P.S. Wow. I couldn't believe that my first july post to be a serious one. :P

bouna fortuna a me e buona fortuna a tutti!

As you are..

As you are greater than the sunlight, you brighten up my days and make me shine.

Your transmutation of the unknown to norms is becoming to be too troublesome for me. I try to keep a leveled head and heart. Trying not to leap to an endless pit of doom.

As I am most incapable of staying straight-headed, I am saying to you (not directly though) that as you are indifferent, I am troubled and hopeless.

The rain will come with most haste to wash away this sad face.

With water cleaner that of the water that flow from the spring.

Colder than of the ice melted from the mountains.

It will cleanse my heart and my soul.

Public enemy no.1

The dream ends here.

It was not wasted time. I find myself wanting to wake up from this illusion.

A quote from a movie I watched said that "Love is an Illusion". Sometimes it is. I would like to rephrase it so that it would make more sense. Well, for me anyway.

Love sometimes in just an Illusion.

It is like being in a dream. When even love is an illusion. Concocted by irrational thoughts not made concrete by action. If you get what I mean.

It was very funny to wake up in a reality better than a dream. Maybe it's you all along. We can never really tell. I can never tell. And so, I'm taking a chance again on something that may end up being an illusion. But, nonetheless, life is always full of surprises. I take joy in the thrill. the surprise.

So, here is the tricky part. Moving on from nothing.

I'm now laughing at myself. I thought that this was never going to happen again. But alas! History repeated itself. But. I will not repeat the unnecessary to reduce collateral.

It's so hard to never know. Harder if you would be given a chance to know and yet you let it pass. But, I listened to my inner being. I always end up listening to that little voice in my head. That little voice that kept me in-check for all these years. And so, I'm thankful for that voice. I know it's You.

Learning from what ever this is/was, I am now making a pact with myself. I know what to and what not to do. The future is too vague and full of surprises. So, take I will take delight in it this what life has given me. I know I will. I blame my rationality and my consistencies.

Moonlit Dreams

Many things come about at night. Sometimes it is the overwhelming epiphany you've been waiting for or a call of the person who melts your heart like butter on a hot knife. But tonight, it's not the case. It's still not the case. Even thought you want it to be.

Dreams. Let's talk about dreams.

It starts with you. Maybe sometimes, with me. But if I'm lucky it'll be one of those dreams where the impossible happens. That dream where you are in my arms. Knowing what I feel about you and you having the same feelings for me. I know it only happens sometimes but because of those times, I am always eager to fall asleep. Knowing that there is a chance that we will be together. in my dreams.

It was not my intention to make my first entry about you. But, I can't help myself. You still haunt my heart.

I hope you'll know it someday. These words are words of a stupid boy in love (or something like that). Always repeated but the meaning is never the same.